Suffocated by emptiness

The last time we talked was Valentine's day
He went "It's such a shame we have to say goodbye this way."
So many things are such a shame, i wanted to say.
But i Just stood silent.
Solemn and controlled silence.
He said he would miss me, he would miss me a lot.
I miss only the days i thought he really did adore.
He has sly eyes. Slippery mind
I couldn't put up with any more of his lies
Feeling so tired all the fucking time.

If only i could rest
If you could just reset.
We could start over something new.
But even though he couldnt fight the lure
Not even once had he been truly real.

"This is the last time i'll talk to you", he promised
And i hoped he could this time keep It
How long will take me to cure this? I wondered
Maybe too long, maybe just a weekend.

How long till i give up the longing
And the each time blurrier memories dissapear
I Just wish you don't touch your phone
When It's again that time of the year.

I get drunk messages "i miss you"
From a random almost stranger
Everything i've ever wanted
Have always left me empty handed
Everytime i long for something
So hardly my longing could almost cry
I got that just for a moment
Then It ate me up and sucked me dry.

Yeah its true i'm so adored
Don't wanna play anymore with these men, so plain
Couldnt help but feeling bored
Don't wanna their lips on my feet, their dull complains
Game is not so much fun for me anymore
Guess it can be distressfull to be adored
When all things i want, i stubbornly wish for:
Sly blue eyes. Vícious smile
Desired empty prize
I can't obtain.